The Young Denise: Lizards….Why did it have to be Lizards?!?!

I’m with Indy on this one, after all, lizards are just snakes with feet!

You may have heard about my troubles in Italy with lizards. Pretty literally scared the Devil out of me! Worked me up enough to make me convert to Catholicism!

I thought I was safe. I thought I had appeased St Francis. I thought wrong!

We recently spent two weeks on the lovely island of St Maarten. It is a beautiful, peaceful island. It is part Dutch and part French. The two sides live together like siblings…lots of joking and teasing, but overall, they get along.

There really isn’t too much blog material from a trip to St Maarten. They days go like this…wake up, eat a croissant, sit on a beach chair, have dinner, go to bed and repeat. Throw in a couple of jewelry shopping excursions and a dinner or two out, and you pretty much have the idea.

So I was lulled into a sense of false security. It was going to be a relaxing vacation and I was going to go home refreshed. The sun was hot, the water was refreshing and the beers were cold.

But then, the lizards in Assisi got wind of my plans. Since they are in the same Union as the lizards in St Maarten, or is it the same Religious Order, they contacted each other, just to make sure I was still toeing the line.

I noticed an increase in scurrying every time I left our condo. I thought I heard strains of horror movie music playing. I ignored the signs.

And then one night….I awoke and wandered into the bathroom. And there he was….Don Guido Lizardo! He was sitting right there in the bathroom, eyeing me. I’m pretty sure he was one of those Komodo Dragons. I had never seen a lizard so big!

(NOTE: The Blog Fodder assures me I am exaggerating and his total length was maybe, maybe, 2 inches….but who are you going to believe?)

After several minutes of screaming on my part, and wrestling on the BF’s part, we got that monster out the door. We were safe….for now.

After a few days, I began to relax again. We had defeated the Leader of the Lizards. But apparently, I had not learned my lesson.

We were out to lunch, enjoying a nice burger and beer with a lovely view of the blue Caribbean waters, when suddenly the peace was shattered by screaming. Those screams were coming from me! The others at the table looked at me like I had lost my mind. But really, I am not prone to random fits of screaming, no really!

A rather large lizard had taken that opportunity to crawl over my foot. This time even the BF admitted he was a big one. I noticed my friends slowly moving their seats away from me. They certainly didn’t want to be associated with someone who has a Lizard Vendetta against her. And who could blame them!

I spent the rest of the time declaring loudly, that I thought lizards were very handsome and quite intelligent and that I would never do anything to upset or harm them. They seem to be appeased and I was left in peace the rest of the trip.