Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

Fa-La-La-La-La! La-La-La-La!

It’s Christmas time….in case you hadn’t noticed.  And that means the time of Peace and Giving.

And while I feel the crunch of the season that everyone else does, I do appreciate that I have been given a lot of gifts and have an obligation to share.

I had the good fortune of having the “Giving Tree” at my church to myself one Saturday morning.  So I spent 20 minutes reading all the tags on the tree.

Many were for gift cards.  I decided to leave those for someone who was under even a bigger crunch than I am, or who does not have the “shopping gene.”

I did take a card for a care package for displaced families.  It requested items like soap, shampoo and toothpaste.  Easy-peasy!

I was narrowing it down, but kept coming back to a card that stated a 62 year old woman wanted a brown coat.  Not that I admit to it, but 62 is not that far from my age.  It is within a decade, or two, or three…depending on my mood on any given day.  And this lady is my size….I know where to shop for that.

So, shopping I went….

And was hit with the facts

1.       Near Seattle isn’t that cold of a place, they don’t have many coats to sell

2.       Brown is not a popular color for coats this year

3.       Puffer coats are all the rage this year, and I did not feel that was the right way to go

And mostly

4.   Stores do not carry many, if any, plus sized coats.

I guess us large girls don’t get cold!

So after 6 stores, with very few choices, and most of those in black and/or puffer coats, I knew I was going to have to get creative.

I did some searching online, even though that felt like cheating and ordered the ONE BROWN NON-PUFFER COAT I could find.

With clothes, and with coats especially, I like to see the item and feel it before I make a decision.  The coat ordered online was going to arrive very close to the date the presents were due to the church.

What to do, what to do?

I decided to continue to look locally…just in case.

So we ran to Burlington Coat Factory…let me repeat that Burlington COAT Factory…they should have coats.  Lots of coats.  Coats of many colors and many sizes.

Well, they certainly had the biggest selection I had seen…but I was not overwhelmed.  I did have the choice of TWO tan coats.  Let me point out that tan is not brown.  They were both of the puffer variety, but a little more subdued and less Michelin Man.  So I bought the better looking of the 2.

And now I wait for the ordered coat to arrive, to decide between the two…and either return the rejected coat, or donate it to a coat drive in the area.

 

I'm glad I didn't have to get this guy out again!

But, while I joke, I have used this experience to appreciate all I have been given and to hope I make one woman’s Christmas a little brighter.

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A Christmas Miracle

The following is a true story that happened on Christmas Eve, way back in 2012! 

Jesus is the reason for the Season!

I ran to the grocery store today for those last minute things,  Everyone was in a bad mood and the cars were doing their best to run the pedestrians over.  But I went on my merry way and smiled at one and all.

I decided to stick my head in the drug store next door.  The lady at the pharmacy was yelling because they had just run out of flu shots...Fa-La-La-La-La!

 I picked up the things I needed, and then saw a little, inexpensive Nativity set in the Christmas aisle.

 

 

I have a plastic set, from Hallmark.  I got in when the nieces were young, so that they would be allowed to play with it. 

 

 

Mary lost her halo in an unfortunate bungee jumping accident years ago. 

 

One year the Shepard was lost after Christmas.  He showed up in June.  We are pretty sure he went on a six month bender.

 

But all this time I KNEW exactly what I wanted in a real Nativity set.  When I would find one that was close, the price tag would deter me.  I mean, I could hire actors for the month of December to dress in costume for that price!

 

When we were in Naples this year, I had planned on going to the famous street where nativity sets are made and buying one.  With the Blog Fodder complaining the whole way about how we were going to get that home.  (If I have to clutch them to my chest the whole flight....)  However, we were in Naples on Sunday, and the shops are closed that day.

So here I stand looking at the inexpensive little nativity set, and it is really close to what I wanted.  So I bought it.  I took it home and cleared a space on the mantle, and started to unpack the set.

Stable...check

3 Wise Men...check

Sheppard...check, and has joined AA

Donkey...Check

Cow....Check

Joseph..check

Mary....Check

Um....something is missing!  Where is Jesus?  Did he wander off? Is he still in the box? Nope!

Dang!  Jesus is missing!

Now, I don't have high expectations on a $7.49 Nativity set, but Jesus is something I kinda require!

We did check the box and did not find “Jesus not included” or “Just add Jesus”

Back to the store and three sets later (headless sheep, no star...) I have the whole cast and crew!

Phew!

Update:  Since then, we have added other figures to the scene. 

Native Americans from New Mexico, a Christ-moose from Alaska, Alligators we have Heard on High, David, Artemus, a streetcar from San Francisco, an olive wood angel from Assisi, St Francis’ lizard, a gondola from Venice and presents and a mini nativity set for the baby Jesus!

The Dreaded TSA Notice….Da-Da-Duuuuuuhhhhhhh!

With all the traveling I do, it was bound to happen.  I had a checked bag searched by TSA.  My bag was locked with a TSA lock, and it was not obvious when I picked it up, but I opened the bag, as saw this….

Now, I was flying just a week after the terrible terrorist attacks in France, so I understand heightened security.

Sending out prayers to the victims, families and people of Paris.

But what could have gotten TSA’s attention. 

I was flying out of Rochester NY on a work trip, but started in Erie PA the weekend before, visiting friends.  It was a cold, rainy windy day on Saturday, so naturally, we went wine tasting.

That area of New York is known for their sweet wines – Made from Concord Grapes or ice wines.  There were some dry wines, and some grapes I recognized, but we spent the day celebrating sweet wines!

At one of our stops, I tried a wine called “Hot Kisses.”

Oh really!?!?!

It was a sweet wine, but it was spiced with Thai Chilies.  It wasn’t overly hot, but had a nice bite to it.  If you ever had a pepper jelly, it was along those lines.  So I bought a bottle.

As I was not expecting to buy wine, I had to wrap it carefully and pad it with clothing in my suitcase, which I then checked, to go home.

I wrapped it in the bag it came in

And then in a souvenir bag I had

And then in the hotel laundry bag.

 

But I can see how a tall, cylindrical, liquid filled item might get some attention.

When I pulled the bottle of wine out of my suitcase, the inside back was knotted

 

And the outside bag had been “spun” closed.

 

It was pretty obvious to me that the TSA agent was male, ‘cause only guys take such great pleasure in spinning plastic bags closed.  But with the care he took in repackaging my wine, I could tell he was a lover of fine wines too!

So, stay safe out there, drink some fine wine and remember to enjoy life!

Tahini? That is the same as Wasabi, right?

As you can tell from the title, I don’t do a lot of international cooking.  It may have been suggested that I don’t do much cooking at all. 

E-hem! 

I’m a pretty good cook, and I haven’t killed anyone….yet! 

But, backing up a little, I strongly believe that we are sent the people we need in our lives, when we need them.  And I have been blessed with a lot of great people.  

My family lives on the opposite coast from me, so I don’t get to see them as much as I would like.  But when I need them, they are there. 

I did have the great pleasure of spending 3 weeks near my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Joe’s.  I also got to hang out with my cousins Linette, Joe and Dayleena and my godmother Mary.  It took me back to happy times of my childhood.

 

And then there is my best chum, Lorraine, who is always willing to follow me around the country for laughs and giggles.

And our favorite place to visit is the White Trash Bed and Breakfast, ran by Ray and Dave, who open their home to me whenever I am in town.

Nearer to home is my camping group, who understand my tolerance of camping and help me to survive the “rough” camping we do in comfort.

 

Then there is my 2 internet groups….

One is my cruising buddies, who I “met” in 2000.  We’ve been on tons of fun cruise and land vacations ever since.

But today’s blog is about my other group.  We were all born the same year.  That is our common link.  The rest of the people involved will give the name of the message board and the year we were born.  I stick with women born in the same year.

We are from all over the country, and chat online on a daily basis.  We help solve problems, groan at our issues, cheer our successes and basically support each other in every way.

I recently had the great pleasure of meeting up with some of these women IRL (in real life) in October in Indianapolis

 

 

 

 

 

and in November in New Jersey.

 

 

 

In New Jersey, we had a lovely selection of snacks, including homemade hummus.

 

 

Oh yum!

So I got the recipe.  Hummus requires chick peas, garlic, olive oil and Tahini.

 

Ta-what?

So I went to three stores.  I looked in the international food section.  I looked in the deli section.  I looked in the baking section…I even asked!  I even thought maybe I could substitute something else, like wasabi.  I mean, a half of a cup of wasabi wouldn’t make it too spicy hot, would it?

 

Finally at the third store they were able to point me to the Peanut Butter aisle.

Really?  What is this stuff?  In case you are curious, it is ground sesame seeds with olive oil.

 

And no, I wasn’t really going to put wasabi in my hummus.  I didn’t want this to be my first culinary homicide! 

How did it turn out?  I’ll tell you as soon as I am home long enough to make it!

 

PS, this was our dessert, made by our very own professional cake baker. 

 

 

And they called him Gator Bob

Way back in the year 2000, I met some nice people on a cruise chat board.  We all hit it off and decided to go on a cruise together.  This was the beginning of some great friendships.

 

Some of our bosomiest buddies from the group are Ron and Lyn, who live in Not Near Anything, Pennsylvania.  And if you know your US geography at all, it is especially not near Near Seattle.  Most years in the last 15, we have gone on a cruise with these folks and have had a hoot.  But 2 years ago, we decided to try something new and go on a Land Vacation together.

 After much research and debate, we found a small resort in Kissimmee, Florida that was easy for both couples to get to.  The running joke was about the small lake on the property and the one small alligator who resided there.

 

As our stay was winding down, with nary an alligator sighting, we were sad to be leaving this paradise.  I hopped in the shower on one of the last mornings and got quite a big surprise!

Now, let me point out, that I am not the sharpest tool in the shed first thing in the morning.  I’d probably be better after a cup of coffee, if only I drank the stuff!

 

But I look down at my feet in the shower and saw something green and scaly and ready to take off one of my limbs!

I quietly exited the shower….HA!  In the Blog Fodders words, “She boiled right out of there!”

 

The B.F. turned off the shower, closed the bathroom door and called the front desk to report a “critter” in our tub.  They figured it was a gecko and I was just being hysterical and sent the maintenance man with a butterfly net to catch it.  A BUTTERFLY NET….to capture a ferocious, woman eating, jaws of death alligator!

 

Suddenly, I had a better understanding of Marlon Perkins sending good ole Jim into deal with the animals!

 

A few seconds later, the maintenance guys comes back out clutching the ferocious beast.  And he said…

 “Um, it’s a toy….”

Yup, a plastic, grown-to-three-times-its-size-in-water, bought-in-the-dollar-store-in-Not-Near-Anything-Pennsylvania toy!

 

I was mostly mad I hadn’t thought of doing this myself!

 But, the last I saw of the deadly alligator was as a trophy on the maintenance guy’s golf cart.

 We did hear stories about it as we traveled around the resort on the last day…”Did you hear about the crazy woman who called in a toy alligator in her tub?”

 So, fast forward to Labor Day weekend, 2015.  We decided to go to the same resort, with the same friends.  We did have an alligator moratorium that no one listened too.   But we got curious about that toy gator and what ever happened to him.

The B.F. corned one of the maintenance guys and asked.

 As it turns out, one of the ladies who works at the resort thought that was the funniest story ever.  She asked the maintenance guy, who then went by the name Gator Bob, if she could borrow the alligator toy.  She then hid it in her friends shower.

The friend thought it was so funny, she asked to keep the alligator toy and took him to her yacht outside of Tampa, where he sailed the Gulf of Mexico for a year.

 Then, tragically, Gator Bob, the maintenance guy died in a motorcycle accident.  He was well liked and is missed by staff and guests alike at this resort.

The alligator toy, now named Gator Bob, came back home to the resort and was joined by his friend, Sting Ray.  They both have a wonderful life at the resort, traveling around in style on a golf cart.

 

Which goes to show, it takes so little in life to give many people joy!

And, after another week at that resort, we still haven’t seen a real, live alligator.  There were blow up alligators, and alligator socks, and alligator key chains, but not a single, bite-off-your-leg critter!

 

 

Swine and Wine!

Pork and Cork, Pig and Swig, Boar and Pour, Hoof and Quaff.…..

 

Here is a picture of the Guest of Honor

Last year, we happened to be in Salem Oregon.  So on the way home, we stopped at a couple of wineries in the Willamette Valley.  They do Pinot Noir wine there…Red wine, that in France is called Burgundy. 

From Total Wine:

 

Wines made with Pinot Noir are known for their elegance and refinement. They often possess an exotic bouquet along with a velvety, mouth-filling texture. Pinot Noir exhibits flavors of ripe red fruit, cherry, chocolate, toast and spices. Most famous in Burgundy, where it is the only grape permitted in producing the famous red wines of the Côte d’Or, Pinot Noir thrives in cooler climates. Other fine, well-structured examples of Pinot Noir can be found in Oregon’s Willamette Valley and California’s Carneros and Russian River Valley.

 

Translation: YUMMY!

One of our stops was at Archery Summit.  They do a really good job, and we really enjoyed their wines.

 

Wine Cave at Archery Summit

 

As a side note:  Denise should not be allowed access to credit cards, order forms, pens or decision making while drinking wine!

Bottom line, we joined their wine club.

We got invited to their spectacular sounding Valentine’s Day dinner, but it was very limited, and we were number one zillion and one zillion and one on their waiting list.

Sigh!

So we jumped at the chance to go to their summer BBQ, Swine and Wine.  I mean, good wine and a sense of humor.  That is right up our alley.  We will ignore for the moment that I don’t eat pork.  Good thing I drink wine!

We were instructed to park at the winery, and they would shuttle us to the vineyard.  We had some lovely Pinot Noir Rosé wine and snacks while we waited for the transportation to arrive. 

 

Here is a picture of the inside of the vehicle.  You can see how we had to suffer for our wine!

We were met at the vineyard with more Rosé and more snacks.  They had awnings set up for the dining area.  It was right in the middle of the vineyard.

 

 

Look at all those glasses!

 

Waiters circulated with little shot glasses of Chilled Corn and Coconut soup…I passed on that, The Blog Fodder said it was pretty good.

We then wandered to our table and introduced ourselves to the others.  We had the pleasure of dining with Eric from the Production Staff of the winery, and his girlfriend Erin.  They were a very interesting couple who have lived around the world working in the wine industry.  The recently “came home” to Oregon, and appreciate it even more for having lived elsewhere.

 

Our first course was a beautiful salad made with arugula, watermelon, goat cheese, and pistachios.  They paired it with a lovely 2013 Archer’s Edge Estate Pinot Noir.

 

We then had the main course served family style. They had roasted fingerling potatoes with rosemary, summer squash with a Pinot Noir Vinaigrette, corn with chanterelles, and plenty of roasted pork.  They had infused the little piggy with rosé wine, and it was moist looking. 

All right, I tried a little…it was tasty, but I still don’t like pork!

They had 3 wines from the vineyard we were sitting in to go with this feast.  All Pinot Noirs…one from 2000, one from 2003 and one from 2009.  They were all wonderful and unique, but I liked the 2003 the best.

If you are counting, that is 5 different wines, and as much as you’d like!

 For dessert we had sweetened Greek yogurt with fresh berries and shortbread cookies.

 They then rolled us back down the hill to the winery, where we could (Surprise, Surprise) order some of the wonderful wines we enjoyed.

 I managed to keep it to 6 bottles.

I am really looking forward to their Crab Feast in January!