Lizards….Why did it have to be Lizards?!?!

I’m with Indy on this one, after all, lizards are just snakes with feet!

 

You may have heard about my troubles in Italy with lizards.  Pretty literally scared the Devil out of me!  Worked me up enough to make me convert to Catholicism!

 

I thought I was safe.  I thought I had appeased St Francis.  I thought wrong!

 

We recently spent two weeks on the lovely island of St Maarten.  It is a beautiful, peaceful island.  It is part Dutch and part French.  The two sides live together like siblings…lots of joking and teasing, but overall, they get along.

 

There really isn’t too much blog material from a trip to St Maarten.  They days go like this…wake up, eat a croissant, sit on a beach chair, have dinner, go to bed and repeat.  Throw in a couple of jewelry shopping excursions and a dinner or two out, and you pretty much have the idea.

 

So I was lulled into a sense of false security.  It was going to be a relaxing vacation and I was going to go home refreshed.  The sun was hot, the water was refreshing and the beers were cold.

 

But then, the lizards in Assisi got wind of my plans.  Since they are in the same Union as the lizards in St Maarten, or is it the same Religious Order, they contacted each other, just to make sure I was still toeing the line.

 

I noticed an increase in scurrying every time I left our condo.  I thought I heard strains of horror movie music playing.  I ignored the signs.

 

And then one night….I awoke and wandered into the bathroom.  And there he was….Don Guido Lizardo!  He was sitting right there in the bathroom, eyeing me.  I’m pretty sure he was one of those Komodo Dragons.  I had never seen a lizard so big!

 

 

(NOTE:  The Blog Fodder assures me I am exaggerating and his total length was maybe, maybe, 2 inches….but who are you going to believe?)

 

 

After several minutes of screaming on my part, and wrestling on the BF’s part, we got that monster out the door.  We were safe….for now.

 

After a few days, I began to relax again.  We had defeated the Leader of the Lizards.  But apparently, I had not learned my lesson.

 

We were out to lunch, enjoying a nice burger and beer with a lovely view of the blue Caribbean waters, when suddenly the peace was shattered by screaming.  Those screams were coming from me!  The others at the table looked at me like I had lost my mind.  But really, I am not prone to random fits of screaming, no really!

 

A rather large lizard had taken that opportunity to crawl over my foot.  This time even the BF admitted he was a big one.  I noticed my friends slowly moving their seats away from me.  They certainly didn’t want to be associated with someone who has a Lizard Vendetta against her.  And who could blame them!

 

I spent the rest of the time declaring loudly, that I thought lizards were very handsome and quite intelligent and that I would never do anything to upset or harm them.  They seem to be appeased and I was left in peace the rest of the trip.

 

Actual, real live lizards from our trip!

 

But is it every really safe?  Isn’t this when Attack of the Killer Lizards 3 is in the works.

 

Our next vacation….I thought Iceland, in January…just let those lizards find me there!

 

You're still humming the theme to Raiders of the Lost Ark, aren't you!

Press Esc or click anywhere to return to Mail.

Just for the Halibut!

I’ve been accused of being a crazy woman…I just love to travel.  I think I just want to run away from home, without really cutting any ties.

 And, yes, I do miss the cat and my dear hubby when I am gone (not necessarily in that order.)

 

 

But, thinking over this past year, I have been to some of the most bustling, cosmopolitan, exciting airports in the country.

 Like…

 

Rochester, NY

Erie, PA

Spokane, WA

 

And now….Boise, ID

 

Honestly, these are airports that usually have a café/gift shop….and sometimes it is even open.

They know who you are when you walk up to the Rental Car Counter, because you are their only client for the day.

They have no direct flights from anywhere.

They may, or may not, have TSA PreCheck…and it may, or may not be open.

 

(Have I mentioned how much I LOVE TSA PreCheck?  I’d marry it, if I were a single woman!)

 

I am now assigned to a client in Boise, which I will have to admit is a beautiful little city.  The area is know as “High Desert” so is relatively dry.  It is surrounded by hills.  There are rivers that run through town, making for a nice green belt.  And all the restaurants feature beef.

 

Lots and lots of beef!

(Have I mentioned that I don’t eat red meat?)

One thing I have figured out since starting a somewhat vegetarian lifestyle is that there is something I can (will?) eat at most places.

Restaurants in Boise can be a little challenging at times.

But while searching for dinner last night, I found a place called “Fresh Off the Hook.”  That sounds promising.  And it was within walking distance to my hotel.

 

I strolled over.  While it was in a strip mall, it was a nice place with real silverware and table service.  I perused the menu and ordered the fish and chips…and made it clear I wanted the cod fish and chips….

I got the Halibut!

Now, I don’t know much, but I can tell the difference between halibut and cod!  Especially in fish in chips. 

 

As one I love (cod)

 

 

and one I do not (halibut)

 

Just look at that ugly mug!

Don’t get me wrong, Halibut is a lovely fish, when cooked properly, but the deep frying of fish and chips is too hot for halibut and makes the fish tough.

So I will continue my venture to find a good, non-beef meal in Idaho.

 
(To give the Idahoans and Boiseans credit, I had a wonderful chicken the other night at a BBQ place)

The Drunken Dromedary Dilemma

So, I continue my pursuit for the Perfect Nativity Set….

I’m fairly convinced it will take a trip to Italy…The Blog Fodder feels I can accomplish my goals local or on the internet.

But I have found a third set (on Sale! 70% off!) this year.  It is a slightly larger size, so now we have small, medium and large!

We are getting ever closer to our goal!  The new set has a removable Jesus!  So I can have an empty Manger during Advent!

The B.F. has a fear of Wise Men marching all over the living room during Advent!

 

But looking around at my three sets, I noticed a decided lack of camels!

What to do, what to do?

I found a site on the internet that sells whole sets, but also parts of sets.  And they had a camel!  And he was on sale!

So I ordered a camel for the middle sized set.  It was from a “famous” Italian nativity set maker.

Hmmmm….

Let’s say, I was less than impressed when the camel arrived.  He was made of plastic, not ceramic…okay, I missed that in the description.

He was too big for the middle set and a little too small for the big set. 

And worse of all, he doesn’t stand up.

 

Here he is, propped against the wall.

I don’t know if he is sea-sick from the UPS ride, or was out partying with the shepherds.  All I know is that I have a drunken dromedary, a sloppy ship of the desert, a clobbered camel….

I was going to send him back, but he is too funny not to keep.

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

Fa-La-La-La-La! La-La-La-La!

It’s Christmas time….in case you hadn’t noticed.  And that means the time of Peace and Giving.

And while I feel the crunch of the season that everyone else does, I do appreciate that I have been given a lot of gifts and have an obligation to share.

I had the good fortune of having the “Giving Tree” at my church to myself one Saturday morning.  So I spent 20 minutes reading all the tags on the tree.

Many were for gift cards.  I decided to leave those for someone who was under even a bigger crunch than I am, or who does not have the “shopping gene.”

I did take a card for a care package for displaced families.  It requested items like soap, shampoo and toothpaste.  Easy-peasy!

I was narrowing it down, but kept coming back to a card that stated a 62 year old woman wanted a brown coat.  Not that I admit to it, but 62 is not that far from my age.  It is within a decade, or two, or three…depending on my mood on any given day.  And this lady is my size….I know where to shop for that.

So, shopping I went….

And was hit with the facts

1.       Near Seattle isn’t that cold of a place, they don’t have many coats to sell

2.       Brown is not a popular color for coats this year

3.       Puffer coats are all the rage this year, and I did not feel that was the right way to go

And mostly

4.   Stores do not carry many, if any, plus sized coats.

I guess us large girls don’t get cold!

So after 6 stores, with very few choices, and most of those in black and/or puffer coats, I knew I was going to have to get creative.

I did some searching online, even though that felt like cheating and ordered the ONE BROWN NON-PUFFER COAT I could find.

With clothes, and with coats especially, I like to see the item and feel it before I make a decision.  The coat ordered online was going to arrive very close to the date the presents were due to the church.

What to do, what to do?

I decided to continue to look locally…just in case.

So we ran to Burlington Coat Factory…let me repeat that Burlington COAT Factory…they should have coats.  Lots of coats.  Coats of many colors and many sizes.

Well, they certainly had the biggest selection I had seen…but I was not overwhelmed.  I did have the choice of TWO tan coats.  Let me point out that tan is not brown.  They were both of the puffer variety, but a little more subdued and less Michelin Man.  So I bought the better looking of the 2.

And now I wait for the ordered coat to arrive, to decide between the two…and either return the rejected coat, or donate it to a coat drive in the area.

 

I'm glad I didn't have to get this guy out again!

But, while I joke, I have used this experience to appreciate all I have been given and to hope I make one woman’s Christmas a little brighter.

s

A Christmas Miracle

The following is a true story that happened on Christmas Eve, way back in 2012! 

Jesus is the reason for the Season!

I ran to the grocery store today for those last minute things,  Everyone was in a bad mood and the cars were doing their best to run the pedestrians over.  But I went on my merry way and smiled at one and all.

I decided to stick my head in the drug store next door.  The lady at the pharmacy was yelling because they had just run out of flu shots...Fa-La-La-La-La!

 I picked up the things I needed, and then saw a little, inexpensive Nativity set in the Christmas aisle.

 

 

I have a plastic set, from Hallmark.  I got in when the nieces were young, so that they would be allowed to play with it. 

 

 

Mary lost her halo in an unfortunate bungee jumping accident years ago. 

 

One year the Shepard was lost after Christmas.  He showed up in June.  We are pretty sure he went on a six month bender.

 

But all this time I KNEW exactly what I wanted in a real Nativity set.  When I would find one that was close, the price tag would deter me.  I mean, I could hire actors for the month of December to dress in costume for that price!

 

When we were in Naples this year, I had planned on going to the famous street where nativity sets are made and buying one.  With the Blog Fodder complaining the whole way about how we were going to get that home.  (If I have to clutch them to my chest the whole flight....)  However, we were in Naples on Sunday, and the shops are closed that day.

So here I stand looking at the inexpensive little nativity set, and it is really close to what I wanted.  So I bought it.  I took it home and cleared a space on the mantle, and started to unpack the set.

Stable...check

3 Wise Men...check

Sheppard...check, and has joined AA

Donkey...Check

Cow....Check

Joseph..check

Mary....Check

Um....something is missing!  Where is Jesus?  Did he wander off? Is he still in the box? Nope!

Dang!  Jesus is missing!

Now, I don't have high expectations on a $7.49 Nativity set, but Jesus is something I kinda require!

We did check the box and did not find “Jesus not included” or “Just add Jesus”

Back to the store and three sets later (headless sheep, no star...) I have the whole cast and crew!

Phew!

Update:  Since then, we have added other figures to the scene. 

Native Americans from New Mexico, a Christ-moose from Alaska, Alligators we have Heard on High, David, Artemus, a streetcar from San Francisco, an olive wood angel from Assisi, St Francis’ lizard, a gondola from Venice and presents and a mini nativity set for the baby Jesus!

The Dreaded TSA Notice….Da-Da-Duuuuuuhhhhhhh!

With all the traveling I do, it was bound to happen.  I had a checked bag searched by TSA.  My bag was locked with a TSA lock, and it was not obvious when I picked it up, but I opened the bag, as saw this….

Now, I was flying just a week after the terrible terrorist attacks in France, so I understand heightened security.

Sending out prayers to the victims, families and people of Paris.

But what could have gotten TSA’s attention. 

I was flying out of Rochester NY on a work trip, but started in Erie PA the weekend before, visiting friends.  It was a cold, rainy windy day on Saturday, so naturally, we went wine tasting.

That area of New York is known for their sweet wines – Made from Concord Grapes or ice wines.  There were some dry wines, and some grapes I recognized, but we spent the day celebrating sweet wines!

At one of our stops, I tried a wine called “Hot Kisses.”

Oh really!?!?!

It was a sweet wine, but it was spiced with Thai Chilies.  It wasn’t overly hot, but had a nice bite to it.  If you ever had a pepper jelly, it was along those lines.  So I bought a bottle.

As I was not expecting to buy wine, I had to wrap it carefully and pad it with clothing in my suitcase, which I then checked, to go home.

I wrapped it in the bag it came in

And then in a souvenir bag I had

And then in the hotel laundry bag.

 

But I can see how a tall, cylindrical, liquid filled item might get some attention.

When I pulled the bottle of wine out of my suitcase, the inside back was knotted

 

And the outside bag had been “spun” closed.

 

It was pretty obvious to me that the TSA agent was male, ‘cause only guys take such great pleasure in spinning plastic bags closed.  But with the care he took in repackaging my wine, I could tell he was a lover of fine wines too!

So, stay safe out there, drink some fine wine and remember to enjoy life!